16 year old with thousand degree glasses contemplating suicide

As a child my windows had cloudy stickers on them similar to the color
of a plastic bag. So the farthest distance my eyes were exposed to
were around 5 feet. I received glasses when I was 7. I played
computer games and all that, now I'm 16. I've removed the cloudy
sticker from my windows. It was only when I tried to participate in
sports teams that I realized how much trouble my glasses were to me.
My contacts say 7.5 diopters left eye 9 diopters right eye. My glasses
are way stronger. My mom says they are 1000 degrees. I wore them for
a while and they were really hard to wear because when glasses are that
high of diopters they are really hard to break in to. After reading
all the things about myopia reversal I have started to wear weaker
glasses. Thus the glasses I wear now are very weak and I have two
pairs that are stronger. In school I have to walk up and sit on the
floor if my seat is in the back. I have dropped these glasses a lot
and when I look through them it is really annoying to see all these
scrapes and cuts on the lense. I am the only 16 year old I know who
has eyes this bad. It sucks. The part where the suicide thoughts come
in is this. I've been coming to think that myopia reversal is
impossible. People say that it takes years. I think this is unfair,
that I had no control over how my vision became. No one told me about
they eyes. The schools just said read read read. I think the schools
are very evil that they tell us to study but yet they yell at us when
we cannot see the board, when they were the ones who told us to read so
much which made us get myopia. My parents' parents come from hong
kong. I wish I lived in China where they make the children do eye
exercises. Too bad this government isn't like that. I don't know what
I'm going to do. I figure that these glasses will one day break, then
I cannot get another one. I think it is illegal right? Does anyone
know if it's possible to get another weak pair of glasses like the ones
I'm wearing? Or if these break do I have to wear the really strong
ones? I know that doctors prescribe prescriptions, and I don't think
my parents have the old prescription. I don't know the prescription of
these glasses. I don't even know if I should be wearing these old
glasses. I don't see any improvement, and I've been wearing them for
like 2 months or around there. I do not know what to do and am
contemplating suicide because if I do wear those really strong glasses
my eyes will get even worse and later on I will get macular
degeneration, retinal detachment, glaucoma, or cataracts. I do not
want to get these diseases. I do not want to wear the really strong
glasses or contacts. The contacts hurt so much that I tense up my face
and I force my eyes to bulge because of the pain. They bulge so much
that my grandma called me ugly and that my eyes bulge. At least that's
what I think she said. She said it in a language that I do not
understand. I do not want any messages that say I am not ugly, or it
doesn't matter how you look. Even if it is true, that is not why I'm
posting this message. I want to know, which pair of glasses should I
wear. On top of that many many many people call me ugly, my parents
hint that I am unattractive, or just say it outright. I'm not being
paranoid, I'm not being defensive. This is just my life. I live in
San Francisco, and as you all can see, I have very little to live for.
The best moments in my life have been online, playing Diablo 2
Expansion. Those were good times. I am the only person I know who
wants to play that forever and ever. I do not want anyone to tell me
that there is something to live for, because there is not. I cannot
afford college, and if I could my transcript sucks, and also I wouldn't
be able to see the blackboard. I seriously have nothing to live for,
and may be jumping off the golden gate bridge onto concrete, only
idiots go into the water. If I were to do that I would go head first
and spread out my legs to maintain my body position. This wouldn't be
so bad if I were a goodlooking girl, so I could just golddig men, but
this is not the way it is. Please, I need someone to respond, my
thoughts are unstable.

 

play WoW and the good old times are back.

 

x-no-archive: yes

heh well..heck im bored.
i have poor eyesight, have worn glasses since kindergarten and i can
remember the first day i wore glasses to school, or at least a small
part of that day of sitting on the teachers lap her telling the class i
wear glasses now. duh dont announce it lady. one boy who i was friends
with raised his hand and told me his mother and aunt wear glasses too.
anyway, my glasses are weak but thats because i dont have money for the
eye drs, and i dont like going anyway.
but ive worn very weak glasses for my eyes for almost two years and all
i get are headaches, not improving eye sight, because as the two years
have gone by, i see worse now. so i dont know if a dependency on
glasses is a true theory, that glasses that are the right prescription
make your eyes worse. i dont believe that, i think its just like the
rest of your body that ages. but what do i know. your eyes will stop
getting worse for a period, usually around 18-20, then it gets bad
again for maybe a couple years, then you wont need a new rx, then a few
years later you will, etc.
anyway having glasses or not, really doesnt make such a big difference
in your appearance imo.
and as for going to college, you can go to a community college, no
matter how bad your highschool has been. haha trust me, because that
was me. and community colleges are very cheap, and if you get good
grades there, you get a lot of help to transfer to a four year school
if thats what you want to do.

 

Dear Youidi,

In general 10 "degrees" of myopia
is stated as 10 diopters of myopia.

A plus lens of 1 diopter has
a focal length of 1 meter.

There is a doctor in Hong Kong
working on prevention with
the plus -- to be started
early into nearsighedness.
He web site is:

www.chinamyopia.org

You might contact him
for his advice.

Best,

Otis
Engineerr

 

While I'm not an inspiration for stability, I know that you can order
contact lenses online without a prescription.
http://www.coastalcontacts.com/ is one site. Perhaps a different kind
wouldn't hurt as much.

I don't know about glasses.

 

Dear Youidi,

Please ignore Otis.

He is not in the medical profession nor is he in any position to give you
medical advice or medical referrals.

Thank you!

Allen

 

my parents won't let me live here if all i do is play games. I have
56k. I'm not paying that monthly fee.

 

no a degree is one hundreth of a diopter. Therefore a diopter is a
hundred degrees. I saw it on a website saying that myopes 800 through
1300 degrees were cured by intacs.

 

thanks i didn't really check out the site cus it's nighttime and i'm
tired. I'm not sure what my prescription is though. Hey that other
guy just said wearing weak glasses is pointless. Maybe the minute you
start wearing glasses you're screwed.

 

you've worn glasses ever since kindegarten? That's horrible. Maybe
that means myopia is inherited? Is the reason why your vision is
deteriorating because of close work or not enough distance vision
practice? Or did you try all that? What do you mean you're eyes are
getting worse? How bad are they and how old are you? My eyes are so
bad I can't read a book normally at all. With these weak glasses on I
need to put my head really close to the computer.

 

Glasses are only intended for two I's. Sorry, but you do go on a bit
about them, very much in the first person. This is me being insensitive
but what's the fuss? The good thing is that technology in this field is
always improving. In a few years, corrective surgery may be available
for the most severe cases.

Your optician should be able to advise you on lenses and glasses- tell
him/her that you have irritation!

 

So sci.med.vision has turned into a chat room for unhappy adolescent
myopes? I think it's time for another sabatical...

w.stacy, o.d.

 

oops I see this is cross-posted to a suicide group. sorry.

I'll be more careful next time.

w.stacy, o.d.

 

It'll be there if you want to check. What I did was get my contacts fit
professionally, obtained my prescription, and then just ordered a
year's supply online. It was a heck of a lot cheaper than buying
straight from the optometrist.

Customer service at that site told me that (in Canada) a prescription
is not required to purchase contacts, but it is required to make
returns or exchanges on unused contacts.

 

Hi (((((((Whateveryournameis)))))))),

when I was 16 - which is long ago - I had the same proplem you are having
now. No, I will not tell you it is no problem. I know it is a very big
problem. I am short-sighted, too, and had to we glasses. But I tried the
contacts, and I can tell you, the first week or two was a horror. But then
after that my eyes got used to them, and I am still wearing contacts. How
long have you tried to wear them? I know it hurts in the beginning, but it
could really be worthwhile trying it again, just ignoring the pain and bad
feeling, knowing what you will get. I think this would be the best solution
there is.

But I am also sure that you can get new light glasses. Maybe there is a
possibility to repair the surface of yours??? You should simply ask the
specialist. If you want to, I can also do some research in the Internet for
you and try to find ways.

Being short-sighted does not come from reading at school, by the way, but
you are usually born with it - as far as I know.

Did you know that surgeons can replace complete lenses in the eye, and that
this is a rather simple surgery, as I have heard??? Would that be possible
maybe? But one had to be very brave for a while.

Did you also know that my diopters were reduced by 1, and I think by wearing
contacs? But nobody can really tell you why.

What is "Diabolo 2 Expansion"? A computer game? Some years ago I also liked
to play computer games with my son. He will be 15 in August.

Okay, the worst thing that might happen now is that you cannot continue to
wear the glasses you are wearing now - is that right? I am sure that you can
get new ones. I am sure there will be a way to get them if necessary. Maybe
we could even try to have a collection for it here or on my website. I would
start and give money for that, too.

Maybe we could find a church and a priest in California who takes care of
this collection. I am sure there is a way that people know that the right
person will get the money. That is a problem, of course.

Bye for now,

Vera

 

Why don't you simply ignore this thread if you do not like it? This young
person needs help, and you are heartless. I am glad that not all people are
like you. I hope you do not practice as a doctor and have to deal with
people.

~ vera ~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~ http://www.acc-growing-deeper.de ~
~ http://www.acc-growing-deeper.de/Israel.htm ~
~ http://groups-beta.google.com/group/Growing-Deeper ~
~ http://www.e-sword.net ~

 

~ vera ~ wrote:

a cross post.

I answered her on the alt.suicide.holiday group. Anyone can go there to
see my response.

w.stacy, o.d.

 

Youidi,

I noticed that you also recently posted a question about alternative
methods of suicide, and more specifically, your thoughts about jumping
off
the Golden Gate bridge.

Please, please, please talk to someone--a real live person, not just a
faceless person on the Internet chat board--about these feelings.
Please realize that the feelings of self-hatred and unhappiness and
despair are COMPLETELY NORMAL for someone your age. Everyone goes
through bad patches. But you are so young and you have no idea how much
the future holds for you. You have so much to live for that you
don't/can't even realize at this point in your life.

Is there someone that you can talk to? A
friend/counselor/teacher/family member?

 

That's good, Otis. Real good. This young person has 10 diopters of
myopia and you are referring them to a site on myopia prevention. Your
myopia prevention ideas aren't worth the bytes they are printed on.
Misguiding people into false hope isn't the way to go through life,
Otis.

DrG

 

Dear one,

I have asked my friend in California, and she had the following ideas that
might help you:

========start quote======

"The Lyons Club donates glasses to people all the time. They have been doing
it for years. I am sure there is a local chapter, perhaps many in San
Francisco. They especially like to donate to children because they are the
most needy.

There are also solutions that you can put on the lenses that will remove the
scratches, but everytime you wash the lenses you must reapply the solution.
I have seen it advertised on HSN (home shopping network.) HSN.com might have
it too.

Who know, the Lyons club might even be able to do more, buy new
glasses/contacts, or perhaps help with the needed surgery. It never hurts to
ask and plead her case."

========end quote======

And she thinks that "beauty is not something we put on our eyes, it is what
we put in our eyes. Beauty is more than make up, it is being useful,
compassionate, understanding, loving, and loveable."

I bet you have these things.

She also gave me an ancient Chinese Proverb for you:

If there is right in the soul,
There will be beauty in the person.
If there is beauty in the person,
There will be harmony in the home.
If there is harmony in the home,
There will be order in the nation,
If there is order in the nation,
There will be peace in the world.
(Ancient Chinese Proverb)

Maybe that helps, but I know what it is like at the age of 16, too.

So maybe the Lion's Club could be of help for you. Shall I find out for you
if there is a chance?

Peace,

~ vera ~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~