How do I talk to a cross-eyed boss?

I have a new boss who is cross-eyed. I always look at people in the
eye when I talk to them. But when I talk to this man, my eyes get
tired quickly. What's a good way to handle this? Right now I look at
his mouth and his teeth, but I don't want him to think I'm
disrespectful. I need for him to know I'm looking at him in the eye.
Anybody have any suggestions for how to handle a cross-eyed person?

 

In nearly all cases of eye misalignment one eye is dominant. It will
be the eye that is directed at you when you speak. It may be best to
determine which eye is dominant and always look at that eye.

As a personal comment, congrats to you for being conscientious and
caring enough to go to the trouble of reaching out to this forum to
find an answer that will benefit your colleague with respect.

Glenn Hagele
Executive Director
USAEyes.org
Patient Advocacy Surgeon Certification

"Consider and Choose With Confidence"

Email to glenn dot hagele at usaeyes dot org

http://www.USAEyes.org
http://www.ComplicatedEyes.org

I am not a doctor.

Copyright 2006
All Rights Reserved

 

I agree. Always look at the non-deviating eye. If he alternates,
alternate with him, so you are always looking at "him". You have to
supress the tendency to look at the deviating eye, or worse yet, to look
toward wherever that deviating eye is looking...

w.stacy, o.d.

 

Thanks for your prompt responses. Unfortunately, I really can't tell
which eye is dominant/non-deviating (and I don't know if it's a good
idea to ask the man). His eyes seem to move together well, by that I
mean the distance between them is the always the same, but one is
obviously off-axis, and trying to look at them gives me a headache!

Is there a spot on the nose or maybe between the eyebrows somewhere
that I can look at so his brain will fool him into thinking I am
looking at him in the eye?

 

Well, as a suggestion, you could look average it out by looking at a spot
directly between the eyes. If you continue to look at his teeth, he will
probably leave early to floss.

Don W.

 

This may be a novel approach and would depend upon your boss, but ask.
I'm sure he has spent most of his life explaining his situation.
Saying that you want to be sure that you want to show respect and
always want to look at him when you talk would IMO show consideration.

Glenn Hagele
Executive Director
USAEyes.org
Patient Advocacy Surgeon Certification

"Consider and Choose With Confidence"

Email to glenn dot hagele at usaeyes dot org

http://www.USAEyes.org
http://www.ComplicatedEyes.org

I am not a doctor.

Copyright 2006
All Rights Reserved

 

I have to say that if anyone asked me which eye was a prosthesis and
which they should look at, I'd be mortified. Just picking one and
looking at it is fine. Many people only look at one eye anyway.

Ann

 

I used to know a salesman BOTH of whose eyes looked off over my shoulder
when he talked to me. I got used to it, although the urge to turn
around to see what the guy was staring at was always there.

Why on earth would it bother you? I would think it would be a
compliment to your eye-maker if people couldn't tell. I used to know a
woman whose eye was made by the same people who made Sandy Duncan's eye
and I couldn't tell which one it was. She had no problem talking about
it (a glass eye was the least of her worries as she died of brain
cancer) and it was pretty interesting.

Look at people in movies who are talking to someone whose head is only a
few feet away -- their eyes are generally flicking back and forth.

--
Cheers,
Bev
=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=
"The object in life is not to be on the side of the
majority, but to be insane in such a useful way that
they can't commit you." -- Mark Edwards

 

People do that to me sometimes. I try to look directly at people so
that I know I'm looking at them straight but when I see them glance
off I know that I haven't quite succeeded and I adjust.

My eye looks bad at the moment anyway so I doubt anyone would need to
ask but someone I know well can ask whatever they like, but someone I
hardly know or only know in a working relationship should keep quiet!

There aren't many glass eyes out there by the way, most are acrylic.

Ann

 

I disagree. In this case it sounds like the person is cross eyed
and not with a prosthetic (although that may be the case). It
should be treated and addressed as a logistical problem and
not pretend it doesn't exist. I think a prosthetic eye is a different
matter. This is more like having a worker in a wheel chair on
an upper floor and having a plan in case of fire drills.

Give it some time to see if you can determine if your boss
might be sensitive about this or not. I would expect your boss
to broach the subject. If they don't, that may say something...
Then again they may use it to keep people off guard and
unsettled. If it effects your communicating with your boss then
you should bring it up. Couch it as your problem.

-Quick