How do I talk to a cross-eyed boss?

Discussion in 'Eye-Care' started by ggibson, Oct 14, 2006.

  1. ggibson

    ggibson Guest

    I have a new boss who is cross-eyed. I always look at people in the
    eye when I talk to them. But when I talk to this man, my eyes get
    tired quickly. What's a good way to handle this? Right now I look at
    his mouth and his teeth, but I don't want him to think I'm
    disrespectful. I need for him to know I'm looking at him in the eye.
    Anybody have any suggestions for how to handle a cross-eyed person?
    ggibson, Oct 14, 2006
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  2. In nearly all cases of eye misalignment one eye is dominant. It will
    be the eye that is directed at you when you speak. It may be best to
    determine which eye is dominant and always look at that eye.

    As a personal comment, congrats to you for being conscientious and
    caring enough to go to the trouble of reaching out to this forum to
    find an answer that will benefit your colleague with respect.

    Glenn Hagele
    Executive Director
    Patient Advocacy Surgeon Certification

    "Consider and Choose With Confidence"

    Email to glenn dot hagele at usaeyes dot org

    I am not a doctor.

    Copyright 2006
    All Rights Reserved
    Glenn -, Oct 14, 2006
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  3. I agree. Always look at the non-deviating eye. If he alternates,
    alternate with him, so you are always looking at "him". You have to
    supress the tendency to look at the deviating eye, or worse yet, to look
    toward wherever that deviating eye is looking...

    w.stacy, o.d.
    William Stacy, Oct 14, 2006
  4. ggibson

    ggibson Guest

    Thanks for your prompt responses. Unfortunately, I really can't tell
    which eye is dominant/non-deviating (and I don't know if it's a good
    idea to ask the man). His eyes seem to move together well, by that I
    mean the distance between them is the always the same, but one is
    obviously off-axis, and trying to look at them gives me a headache!

    Is there a spot on the nose or maybe between the eyebrows somewhere
    that I can look at so his brain will fool him into thinking I am
    looking at him in the eye?
    ggibson, Oct 14, 2006
  5. ggibson

    Don W Guest

    Well, as a suggestion, you could look average it out by looking at a spot
    directly between the eyes. If you continue to look at his teeth, he will
    probably leave early to floss.

    Don W.
    Don W, Oct 14, 2006
  6. This may be a novel approach and would depend upon your boss, but ask.
    I'm sure he has spent most of his life explaining his situation.
    Saying that you want to be sure that you want to show respect and
    always want to look at him when you talk would IMO show consideration.

    Glenn Hagele
    Executive Director
    Patient Advocacy Surgeon Certification

    "Consider and Choose With Confidence"

    Email to glenn dot hagele at usaeyes dot org

    I am not a doctor.

    Copyright 2006
    All Rights Reserved
    Glenn -, Oct 14, 2006
  7. ggibson

    Ann Guest

    I have to say that if anyone asked me which eye was a prosthesis and
    which they should look at, I'd be mortified. Just picking one and
    looking at it is fine. Many people only look at one eye anyway.

    Ann, Oct 14, 2006
  8. ggibson

    The Real Bev Guest

    I used to know a salesman BOTH of whose eyes looked off over my shoulder
    when he talked to me. I got used to it, although the urge to turn
    around to see what the guy was staring at was always there.
    Why on earth would it bother you? I would think it would be a
    compliment to your eye-maker if people couldn't tell. I used to know a
    woman whose eye was made by the same people who made Sandy Duncan's eye
    and I couldn't tell which one it was. She had no problem talking about
    it (a glass eye was the least of her worries as she died of brain
    cancer) and it was pretty interesting.
    Look at people in movies who are talking to someone whose head is only a
    few feet away -- their eyes are generally flicking back and forth.

    "The object in life is not to be on the side of the
    majority, but to be insane in such a useful way that
    they can't commit you." -- Mark Edwards
    The Real Bev, Oct 17, 2006
  9. ggibson

    Ann Guest

    People do that to me sometimes. I try to look directly at people so
    that I know I'm looking at them straight but when I see them glance
    off I know that I haven't quite succeeded and I adjust.
    My eye looks bad at the moment anyway so I doubt anyone would need to
    ask but someone I know well can ask whatever they like, but someone I
    hardly know or only know in a working relationship should keep quiet!

    There aren't many glass eyes out there by the way, most are acrylic.

    Ann, Oct 18, 2006
  10. ggibson

    Quick Guest

    I disagree. In this case it sounds like the person is cross eyed
    and not with a prosthetic (although that may be the case). It
    should be treated and addressed as a logistical problem and
    not pretend it doesn't exist. I think a prosthetic eye is a different
    matter. This is more like having a worker in a wheel chair on
    an upper floor and having a plan in case of fire drills.

    Give it some time to see if you can determine if your boss
    might be sensitive about this or not. I would expect your boss
    to broach the subject. If they don't, that may say something...
    Then again they may use it to keep people off guard and
    unsettled. If it effects your communicating with your boss then
    you should bring it up. Couch it as your problem.

    Quick, Oct 19, 2006
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